[ 電影 ]~The King Of Road V~

kyo0002

原帖由 55699ivan2 於 2007-7-5 11:28 發表
A:但係你D英文真係好唔店
Q:我是小學5years
A:仲要話自己無錯,
Q:我無話
A:表達能力又差
Q:是，因為我teather無教[表達]
A:你淨係識打中文咁你又打英文?
Q:我講錯佐∼∼我想話我只識打英文+dd中文
A:你 ...

應該係Q 先到A Q係問題 A 係回應 你掉轉左

神影-小寶

既然係咁,就要支持!@

tony2006uuu

原帖由 別問．我是誰? 於 2007-7-16 01:01 發表

佢又冇爆粗
又冇俗語
又冇人身攻擊
點解會扣佢分 ?

係囉,
冇啦啦咁就扣左我分,
我只係作出善意的批評,
希望樓主有所反省,
咁就扣我分,
都冇解ge

原貼由 MAXZS 於 2007-x-xx xx:xx 發表

A person,Ivan,wants to become a king,so he goes to anywhere.
He not only helps other people,but also fights some bully.
[After that,go to ~The King Of Road~]<--I am not clear what you want to say.
After that,he goes to ~The King Of Road~<--??????
Finally,he will become either a king or a dead person

喂喂,好似有D chinglish wo,
he not only helps係唔岩ge(我地班今日先俾人"省"完),
應該係he didn't only help......,
同我諗唔應該用but,用and好D,
同埋go to anywhere 好似唔係幾岩wo...
同埋應該要用past tense先至岩ge wo

以下係我對呢篇野ge重組(其實我都唔係好明),

One upon a time,there was a person called Ivan,who wanted to be the king.
However,he became a tramp and started his vagrant life,but he didn't give up,
During his adventure,he didn't only help the others.Also he fought with some bully for justice and peace.
A few years past,he went to the King of Road by chance(呢句真係完全唔知點解).
Whether he would succeed or seriously injured(唔死都重傷啦) depends on his courage.
If you are interested at the ending if Ivan would become the king or not,
you may download and see what happen,hope all of you enjoy this fantastic movie.
Thank you!!!

(俾我老師睇到一定有好多紅筆劃...囧~)


P.S.岩岩proofread左,唔係one,係once至岩

我又find到一個好大ge mistake,係interested in,唔係interested at(應該)~~

[ 本帖最後由 tony2006uuu 於 2007-7-17 03:38 編輯 ]

tony2006uuu

樓主幾時開續集呀,
我好心急呀,
等住踩(講笑)

MAXZS

原帖由 tony2006uuu 於 2007-7-16 19:03 發表


係囉,
冇啦啦咁就扣左我分,
我只係作出善意的批評,
希望樓主有所反省,
咁就扣我分,
都冇解ge



喂喂,好似有D chinglish wo,
he not only helps係唔岩ge(我地班今日先俾人"省"完),
應該係he did ...

...not only...but also... = ....不僅.... 而且....
If you don't believe,you should ask your teacher.
Tense problem:It is a game,so I think it is not problem.

[ 本帖最後由 MAXZS 於 2007-7-18 19:27 編輯 ]

MAXZS

One upon a time,there was a person called Ivan,who wanted to be the king.
However,he became a tramp and started his vagrant life,but he didn't give up,
During his adventure,he didn't only help the others.Also he fought with some bully for justice and peace.
A few years past,he went to the King of Road by chance(呢句真係完全唔知點解).
Whether he would succeed or seriously injured(唔死都重傷啦) depends on his courage.
If you are interested at the ending if Ivan would become the king or not,
you may download and see what happen,hope all of you enjoy this fantastic movie.
Thank you!!!


fight with some bully --> fight against some bully
,hope all of -->. I hope all of
if Ivan would become the king or not,(reject)
injure = harm =\=be injured
Whether he would succeed or seriously injured  depends on his courage. --->whether he succeed or was injured seriously,he depended on his mind

go to anywhere<--I am wrong
The correction : go anywhere